The John Kreslin, Jr. Story
TIME- If you look up the word time in the
Webster Dictionary, it is one of the longest definitions you will find. Past, present, future, second,
minute, hour, day, month, year…lifetime, etc, etc.
When I think back in time, I remember feeling
that 40 years old was so old (I was 14 years old of course). Some days can seem so long, yet weeks and
months pass very quickly. It seems that in a blink of an eye our children have grown-up and we’ve moved
on to a new generation.
We spend most of our lives trying to control
the time we have been given, yet so often we find that time controls us. Phrases such as “I ran out of
time,” or “I have no time,” are excuses commonly heard when we fail to achieve something. There are never
enough hours in one day to do all that’s on our agendas. We hurry through our lives trying to complete task
after task and sometimes we get it right when we prioritize a To Do list.
We look back throughout time at our
memories—remembering the celebrations and the laughs with family and friends who shared them. Looking back
in time can also disturb us with regret. Opportunities missed, mistakes made, and poor decisions can consume
our thoughts with wishes of getting moments back. What we all could perfect, “if we had it to do it all over
again.”
One moment for me though stands out against all
the rest. It is an opportunity that I took advantage of many times before, but for the rest of my life,
I will wish that I could have had that moment just once more. One moment with my son John who lost his
life 4 days after his 19th birthday in a car crash on August 30, 2002. How I wish I could say to him
just one more time, “Follow that whisper in your heart when you feel something’s not right, always
trust your gut feeling because, that’s God speaking to you.”
John was a passenger in a car with his
girlfriend, the driver, and two other girls. There was alcohol and marijuana involved in the crash.
The driver hit a tree going 65–75 mph in a residential area, where the speed limit was 25mph. My son
died instantly. The driver was critical, two of the girls had serious injuries and the driver’s girlfriend
had minor injuries.
My son had an argument with his girlfriend
before they got into the car that night. She wanted to drive her own car. She didn‘t like driving with
this friend because he was reckless—driving around at high speeds to show off. The driver had a brand
new Subaru with a sunroof and she was driving a beater. It was a beautiful summer night and everything
seemed so very normal. Against their better judgment they made the decision to leave together.
I find it hard to believe that almost four
years have past since the death of my son John.
The memories of that August night remain
very vivid, as well as the days that followed.
My husband and I woke to the dog barking
just before midnight. When I opened the door we both knew that something horrible had happened. I will
never forget my son Kevin, (who was 15 yrs old at the time) sitting at the top of the stairs listening to
a police officer and a chaplain tell my husband and me that our son John had died in a car crash just
before 10:00 PM that evening.
The week of the crash, Johnny had
just started his sophomore year of college at Butler University in Indianapolis, where he was
studying to become a pharmacist. Johnny had turned 19 yrs old on August 26th, just four days prior
to the crash.
Johnny was a great kid; he genuinely
cared about people and gave from his heart. He had an awesome sense of humor and could change my
mood with just his smile. He was bright and always seemed so very driven (there never seemed to be
enough hours in his day). John left home with a GPA of 3.75. He received two academic scholarships.
He had set some pretty high standards for himself. Somewhere along the way I believe John let his
guard down.
As the seasons change and we mark each
calendar of events. I can’t help but to miss what has been taken from my family. The memories of course
are “UNFORGETTABLE” as I flip through photo albums with a smile, tears run down my cheeks. I feel so
grateful for the time I did have with Johnny—the joy both my boys have brought to our lives—and yet
there is great sadness for what will never be.
Too often, holiday weekends and school
breaks are shattered with story after story in the news how someone has been injured or killed in a car
crash. Many times, the car crashes involve teenagers, speed, and driving under the influence.
In Illinois alone, there were over 64,000
teenagers in 2003 between the ages of 15–18 that were involved in car crashes, almost 16,000 were seriously
injured, and 192 of them died as a result of their injuries. We send hypocritical messages to our young
people when it comes to drinking. We warn them of the dangers and the responsibility that comes with alcohol
use, while at the same time we saturate them with beer commercials and casual attitudes for adult drinking.
I’m sure most people can think of a situation
(most likely in younger days) when they felt that there was no turning back from a bad choice they had
made—I know I can. One moment, one decision, one gut feeling we don’t follow can change our lives or the
life of someone else.
Life is all about the choices we make.
No matter how good our intentions, the results of our decisions will always be mixed. But we cannot
give up on our good intentions. I will never give up. Two years ago I became a speaker for AAIM.
With the anguish that I feel since the death of my son John, I’ve become committed to sharing his
story and the circumstances that led to the crash and his death.
I hope that in sharing my story, especially
to young people, that I help them realize just how important their lives are. I hope to build confidence
in our teenagers to make the right choices as they begin to experience life, (of course on their own terms)
and not just behind the wheel of a car. If I can show them to take time to step back and evaluate the
situations that they put themselves in, then they can listen to that little voice inside their head when
it tells them that something’s not right.
This tragedy has taken me on a continuous
journey of my faith. I examine my own life and try to live it well, in memory of John. I believe I’ve
learned what the saying “True Wealth” really means through the love of my family and friends.
God has blessed me beyond the measure of
time or my pain. I will never completely heal from the loss of my son, there will always be sadness
with each passing season and unforgettable photos will be met with many smiles and tears.
God Bless you Johnny,
Mom
