I'm
Sorry
"I'm
sorry, Meinrad." I say that every day,
but I'll never hear a response. On September
13, 1994, I made the worst decision of my
life when I attempted to drive home after
drinking. Somewhat ironic, this time I didn't
start out with the intention of drinking at
all. Something happened though, and subconsciously
I managed to preempt all the long term values
and people
that make my life worth living, in lieu of
a short term "good time". I don't
remember leaving the bar, but somehow I managed
to drive about 20 miles before I passed out
and slumped over the wheel, causing a hard
left turn across the centerline, directly
into the path of Mr. Meinrad Gyssler, approaching
on his motorcycle. I didn't even know
what I had done until they told me in the
police station later that night. Then the
hardest phone call I ever made was to tell
my wife that I was responsible for taking
the life of another human being.
As
much as I hate the way this sounds like a
cliché, to this day I with I could
trade my life for Meinrad's. All my
life I have fixed things and now I have broken
something that I can never fix. I think of
Meinrad and his family everyday. I pray for
them every night, every time I pass by the
crash site and every time I get into a car.
I often think of Meinrad when I'm feeling
good and enjoying life.
Why,
is what I ask myself all the time. I know
that you don't drink and drive. In fact,
I usually made a very conscious effort to
arrange for an alternate driver if I would
be drinking. Unfortunately, this wasn't
always the case and I would end up driving
at times that I shouldn't have. Times
that I knew my wife would be angry if I called
and said I had too much to drink. Times that
I didn't realize that I had too much.
This all boiled down to the formation of a
bad habit. When I got into the car on September
13, 1994, I didn't think at all. I know
this and I am alive today, because of another
habit, I wore my seatbelt.
I
have learned a lot from this tragic experience
and I will feel a pain in my heart forever.
I am indebted to my family for their undying
support and to Pat Larson and the entire AAIM
organization, for giving me the opportunity
to partially repair the damage that I have
caused.
Through
speaking at Victim Impact Panels, I have at
least a sense of trying to make a positive
difference. AAIM has also given me the opportunity
to meet many wonderful people including Meinrad's
daughter, Andrea Tuegel. Finally, I apologize
to every victim of a drunk driving crash.
I now realize this senseless tragedy should
never happen.
Mike
Kenny
